The lows of waiting

Today was a sad day. We have been told the last two Wednesdays that we would be submitted to embassy and it didn't happen. Last week I was bummed, this week I was sad, I cried this morning at work and all my wonderful coworkers were very sympathetic. Thanks girls, you're the best! Our agency is being proactive and getting more paperwork that has delayed families in embassy clearance before the embassy ask for it. I'm grateful to them for taking care of us and helping to make sure we pass as quickly as possible, BUT...when you are expecting one thing and another happens it's really hard. Once we are submitted it could still be 4-6 weeks before we are cleared to travel back. It's been a month since we have seen our son. We really miss him and want him home. We received some new pics and his eyes are terrible, worse than before. I want to get him to the eye specialist and get some Zyrtec and Benadryl in him. He has an eye condition called vernal keratoconjunctivitis, in layman's that is severe eye allergies. He's being treated for it but I want a fresh approach, his eyes look miserable.

People have said to me they can't imagine how we feel with him being so far away. I was running last night and thinking about this and I tried to find a way to explain it. The best way I can is imagine you have your newborn baby that you are with for a week, you love it, become attached to it and then you have to leave it over 7000 miles away. But imagine that newborn baby is 7, has been abandoned multiple times, knows that you are its new mom and dad and then you abandon him too. That's how I feel. I feel like we abandoned him, we gave him hope and then we left. I know children are more resilient and families that have met him since we left have told us he's a happy, polite child. One even said he told them "Kentucky". I'm hoping he knows deep down we are coming back but the longer it takes the more I wonder. Please pray for us. Once we get him home there will be more hurdles but for now we just want him with us and we will deal with the other stuff later.

Look at those sweet brothers.

Our favorite picture from the trip. Our twins.

Our 3 handsome boys.

An update at last

I've had a lot of people tell me they have looked at the blog and nothing has been added. I'm sorry about that. I tried to update it while we were in Ethiopia but we only took an IPad and it is impossible to type on. When we got home I was an emotional basket case and could cry on command, just ask Mike, my mom, Samuel, and Will. Enough with the excuses...

We had a wonderful trip to Ethiopia and truly fell in love with the country. The flight was gross and long, we called it the "tube of torture". The flight from DC to Addis Ababa was 13 hours and coming home we traveled for 35 hours total. We were zombies when we got home and the next day I was running a fever and felt like I had the flu, luckily that went away after 8 hours. The worst part was leaving our son over 7000 miles away. I can't really describe this feeling except it was like leaving a part of our hearts. I would watch the flight map on the airplane and the further we flew away from our son the worse I felt. I'm sure the nice man sitting with Will and I wondered why I kept crying and getting tissues out but fortunately he never asked.

Our son Gabriel (Gabe) Fiker (means love in Amharic) is wonderful and we can't wait to go back and get him. We were so nervous on our first meeting and I can't imagine how he must have felt but he came out smiling and ran down the steps right to us. He called us mom, dad, Samuel, and Will (he had studied his photo album we sent) and gave us all big hugs. Mike and I had worried that when the time came for us to take him home we would be dragging a kid kicking and screaming through the airport but as Mike later said he would have left with us that day. From the moment we met him we knew he was our son and brother.

We also met his uncle on his mother's side and his half sister. This was very emotional and I was a nervous wreck. We met with him on the transition house porch while Gabe, Samuel, and Will played out in the yard. We ask him what his wishes were for Gabe's life and he said he wants him to be a person that helps others in need like we were doing now. OMG!!!! First of all I feel Mike and I aren't doing enough to help others and we need to find ways to be better at this. Most important we feel a great responsiblity to follow through with his wishes. It also worries me because in America it can be difficult not to let all the "stuff" and chaos get in the way. Mike and I have discussed this a lot and are going to make a better effort of teaching our children to help others and not to be so materialistic or selfish. After our meeting we went down where the boys are and took some pictures, I made copies to take back with us so his uncle and sister will have copies. I loved watching Gabe Fiker and his uncle interact, they seemed to tease each other, and I'm so glad we have it on video so he can watch it in the future.

The next step we are waiting for is to be submitted to the US Embassy in Ethiopia. Our agency expects this to happen on Wednesday if all paperwork is ready. PLEASE PRAY we get submitted and things move along quickly. After that the embassy will probably set up a meeting with his uncle to make sure that he is a true orphan, this is usually about 2 weeks after set up. The latest trend has been families being cleared to pick up their child the day of the birth relative interview. Our agency said they will look at when to schedule our return trip after we know when the interview is. If we are submitted this Wednesday I'm guessing we will return 4-6 weeks from then. PLEASE PRAY for our paperwork, our family, Gabe Fiker, his uncle. This process has changed us so much, our family has grown closer to each other and more importantly closer to GOD. I'm so grateful that we were obedient to HIS call for us to adopt we are forever changed.